What do I do during holidays with unaffirming family?

Many queer and trans people don’t feel safe or supported by their family of origin. This can become especially fraught during the holidays when we have to hide who we are, who we love, or how we prefer to present in order to keep a semblance of “family peace.” How can you handle this painful experience?



* Queer Theology, “8 Queer Tips to Get Through the Holidays

* Kevin Garcia, “4 Tips for Surviving Family Gatherings During the Holidays

* Glen Garner, Out, “5 Tips for LGBTQ People on Surviving Holiday Depression

* Kingsley, Ambit Gender Diversity Counseling, Supporting your trans loved one through family gatherings

* Everyone is Gay, “Surviving the Holidays: The Not-Out-Yet Edition

* Everyone is Gay, “Safely Planning for the Holidaze

* Verdell A. Wright, Believe Out Loud, Tips For Getting Through The Hard Holidays

* Read any of the letters at Your Holiday Mom, an online space where supportive moms post holiday messages.



Kevin Garcia, “Queer Guide to Surviving the Holidays

Austen Hartke, “Going Home When There’s No Room at the Inn

Queer Theology, “7 Bible passages for self-care during the holidays

Emily Joy, “5 Minute Yoga You Can Do in the Bathroom While Hiding From Your Family


Special Content

Sign up for a holiday e-care package from Everyone Is Gay at Where The Love Light Gleams


Find a welcoming and affirming church to visit at gaychurch.org or Believe Out Loud.


Emmy Kegler

Pastor of Grace Lutheran Church, out looking for the lost coins of the world.